We've designed our personal relationships in such a way that we believe that we need things from one another that we don't need. We've been taught to seek out energy, that we already have, from other people. And we've been taught to give energy, that we need for our own desires and our own lives, to every Joe, Dick, and Harry that demands it.

This cultural norm is vampiric because it's trying to get from others, and give to others, what individuals should be sourcing from and to themselves. What's more, doing it this way keeps the collective weak because the collective doesn't understand how to self-source. This puts it at the mercy of people and things that it doesn't control. This is convenient if you want to keep large groups of people in an inferior position, but I don't want to keep large groups of people in an inferior position. Neither do you. We want individuals to know their power. The solution is to readjust our reference points.

Right now, we reference other people for our energy. At the same time, we let other people feed off of us for their energy. This sets up a dynamic of instability. One never feels secure about the source of their energy--whether they're going to get it from other people or be giving it away when they need it for themselves.

Everything is energy. There isn't anything in existence that isn't energy. Thus:

When someone asks you to move something, they're asking for your energy.

When someone wants you to be happy for them, they're asking for your energy.

When you want someone to be emotionally supportive of you, you're asking for their energy.

When someone tells you to be somewhere at a specific time, they're asking for your energy.

When you hold an expectation of someone, you're asking for their energy.

When you demand someone to do the dishes, you're asking for their energy.

When you want to be appreciated by someone, you're asking for their energy.

We all have our own energy. As a rule, we don't need the energy of anyone else. In fact, you don't have the right to make someone else the source of your energy, and no one has the right to make you the source for their energy, either. But, of course, we do this all the time. It's how we've structured our society.

Because we've structured society in this way, we live in fear that the source of our energy will dry up. People will give you what you want, and then one day they won't. Then what? If you need their energy in order to function, you're up a creek. At the same time, others will bleed you dry with their incessant demand for your attention and labor, and then you'll have nothing left in the tank for your own life. This goes on all day every day. It's what most people call normal life. There are other ways, however. You can become self-sourcing. You can recognize yourself as the source of energy, and you can acknowledge others as the source of their energy.

All of those things that you're look to from others--appreciation, acceptance, acknowledgement, value, importance, belonging, support, help, agreement, permission, reassurance, backing, loyalty, trust, faith, belief, and so forth--you can give to yourself. You can recognize that others are the source for these things for themselves, as well. When you do this, you cease vampiric relationships altogether. This is one way to create significant stability in the way that you feel in your day to day life, and that's the goal for most of us.

You're reading by Samantha Standish. If you want to learn more about what happened in my out-of-body experience, my book, "Equal," is available for a nominal amount at,

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