The Need For Agreement Creates Opposition

This isn't a world of consensus. People believe that it is, and this belief in the need for consensus creates conflict. It's not disagreement that creates conflict. It's in the fact that people believe that they need to agree that creates the conflict. Individuals don't believe that they can hold different beliefs and be okay. But they can.

Because individuals don't feel safe if others hold ideas that are different from their own, they believe that they need to find middle ground with those others in order to ensure safety. If they can't find middle ground, they don't believe all will be well. So, they attempt to leverage, coerce, or force agreement. This isn't agreement at all, of course. It's domination. It's opposition. If there was a formula for conflict, this would be that formula.

Let's take a mundane example. Maybe you want to skip washing the dishes one night, but someone you live with wants you to do the dishes. You feel agitated at the idea that exercising your freedom means that you may end up in an argument. You believe that you need the agreement of the other person to not do the dishes. This is where you get your opposition. The opposition doesn't come from the exercise of your freedom to do, or not do, the dishes. The opposition is due to the belief that your choices rest in the hands of another person.

Most people don't know what will happen if they don't have the agreement of others, and they fear that it might not be good. So, they try to protect themselves from disagreement with others, even when no one else is around. That tension isn't because of other people, however. That tension is because of the belief in the need for agreement.

The fact remains that there's no need for people to agree. This world is set up so that you don't need to have agreement for things to work. It's set up to facilitate diversity. You get to do what you do, and I get to do what I do, and we don't have to agree to each have security in our choices. Very few people are testing this out, however, because very few people understand that non-agreement is a valid choice.

"If I don't have their agreement, then they're going to be mad at me," you reply. This is true if you believe that you need the agreement of others. If you don't believe that you need the agreement of others, however, there are no consequences. Watch what happens to those who fret over needing the agreement of others before they take action on something and those who don't believe that they need the agreement of others to take action on something. The outcomes are totally different for each person. How are the different outcomes possible?

You don't need the agreement of anyone to take action. Complete self-determined action is a bit out of the league of most humans right now. Most people will create conflict by trying to act without that consensus that they believe that they need. But I thought it was worth mentioning that this need for agreement is what's causing the problems in the world, not solving them. Security isn't found in consensus. It's found in self-worth. It's found in the ability to feel secure to pursue your passions, no matter what other people are doing.

It's not possible to have world consensus because this dimension was designed to create diversity. So, to need consensus before you can feel secure means that you'll never feel secure. There's another way. You can allow your freedom to be who you are, and explore your interests, while allowing everyone else to do the same. This is a mindset, and habit, that has to be developed for most. The default is to feel that you must control the behavior of others and submit to control in return, and we all know how well that works.

You're reading by Samantha Standish. If you want to learn more about what happened in my out-of-body experience, my book, "Equal," is available for a nominal amount at,

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