Ten Thousand Pounds Of Unwanted Weight

Choosing to hold a perspective is like choosing to hold an object. You could think of affirmative perspectives like feathers, neutral perspectives like microscopic dust particles, and negative perspectives like iron weights. You carry your perspectives around with you, and they either make you feel light, or they make you feel like you're carrying a rhinoceros.

It doesn't feel good to be carrying a rhinoceros everywhere you go. They're heavy. You don't feel mobile, hefting that much weight. So, individuals want to lighten the load. But instead of addressing to what's causing their feelings, which is their perspective, they attempt to hand the weight over to other people. They blame others for their feelings. In effect, they say, "It's your fault that I feel this way. If you were different, then I would feel good. You're not different, so I feel bad. Therefore, I have the right to mistreat you until you change, and I feel good again."

This pattern is everywhere. Kids will come home with bad grades, and the parents will get mad, and then blame the kid for their anger. They're saying, "You're not presenting me with what I want to see, so you're responsible for my feelings, and now I have the right to withdraw affection for you." But, of course, this is a lie. The kid's bad grades didn't cause the parent's anger. The parent decided to hold the perspective that his or her value as a parent, or the value of the kid, could be measured by the kid's grades. That's a choice. The parent did the anger to his or her self by choosing to hold that perspective. He or she is to blame for the anger and not the kid.

These behaviors are so rote that they're nearly invisible. We play them out without thought. We can, however, think about it. The only thing that can cause a feeling in a person is their perspective. Your behavior can't cause a feeling in another person, and their behavior can't cause a feeling in you. Feelings are the resonance expressions of perspectives. They're the motion patterns of ideas. They're how you know the nature of your point of view. They're information, and they're the seat of your power.

If you understand that you're in control of your philosophy of life, you know that no one and nothing can control you because you control those frequency patterns that cause your feelings. You understand that you're not subject to the choices and behaviors of others because you no longer accept their choices as your own. Having said that, almost no one has a clear understanding of their perspective, so almost no one knows that they're making these choices. Most people are spitting out reactions based on patterns they've learned that devalue the individual, whether that individual is them or someone else. Another way to say this is that the dominant cultural pattern is to play games of deference and subjugation. You don't have to play those games anymore if you don't want to.

In practice, this means that you don't allow others to hand you their iron weights. You don't allow them to blame you for their feelings. They may very well be mad at you because you're not doing what they want you to do, but it's their decision to hold the perspective that their happiness means that everything you do satisfies them. It's their choice to hold the perspective that you must serve them. They don't have to hold that perspective. They could hold a different perspective. They could honor your freedom. Or they could honor the messy nature of living. Or they could be understanding. Or they could be tolerant. Or they could take full responsibility for their own happiness.

We carry massive emotional burdens because that's what we've been taught to do. We have the ability, however, to place the responsibilities where they belong. You're responsible for your feelings. The perspectives that you choose cause your feelings. Other people are responsible for their feelings. The perspectives that they choose cause their feelings. Other people aren't responsible for your feelings. You're not responsible for other people's feelings.

Thus, when someone offers up their anger at what you do, you're free to decline their demand that you carry their weight. The problem is with their perspective, not you. Therefore, the solution is with their perspective, not you. The reverse is true, as well. Choose your perspectives wisely. Put in the work to make them as beneficial as possible.

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You're reading http://hummingbirddaredevils.blogspot.com/ by Samantha Standish. If you want to learn more about what happened in my out-of-body experience, my book, "Equal," is available for a nominal amount at Lulu.com,

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