Love Never Hurts . . . Ever

Because we're viewing this very noisy and colorful three-dimensional world through the goggles of a body, we don't pay attention to what we're doing with our mind. We don't see our mental processes, so they don't seem as real as all of the stuff around us. The stuff has our attention.

Cars are very visceral things, too, as you sit in the front seat and get ready to drive one, but they're not going anywhere without an engine. Your mind is the engine of your life. You're not going anywhere without it. It's fueling everything you do. No matter how pretty and shiny that outside shell is, no matter how distracting the form based world is, the force that's driving that shell is where the action rests. Your mind is where the action is.

Because of the invisibility of mental processes, it's hard to keep track of what you're doing with your mind as you go about your day. It seems that you're just doing things and having reactions to the world around you. This is not the case. You're actually focusing, with your mind, on ideas all day long, and then those ideas that you're focused on determine what you do and your reactions to things. You can't have substantive change without changing the ideas you're focused on.

At this time, it would be beneficial to have a change in focus when it comes to the idea of love. There are monumental misunderstandings of what love is and what love does. These misconceptions are stamped into the psyche of the individual through endless cultural apparatus. Read the lyrics to a country song, for example, and you're likely to encounter a story of how love hurts, how it's damaging, and how it tears people apart. The cultural superstition is that love is dangerous. People supposedly kill each other over love, for example. Of course, none of this is true. Love has never hurt anyone. It can't. Love is appreciation.

Appreciation can't hurt anyone or anything. It's the lack of appreciation that renders individual torn and devastated. The lack of love hurts. The lack of love hits hard. The lack of love destroys. The lack of love pits people against one another. Not expressing love hurts. Yeah, yeah.

It is not the lack of love from another that does any of this. Other people have nothing to do with your feelings of hurt. It's your unwillingness to express love no matter what the circumstances that causes the problems. When you damn up the flow of love within you, it feels like hell because these are actual physiological processes your messing with. Pain happens when you try to stem the natural current. Love is not unlike electrical motion. It circuits through your body. If you don't inhibit it, that current courses through you at all times. However, if you believe certain fear-based ideas, you'll try to pull back on that current. When you do this with enough fervor, you feel pain.

Love is singled out as particularly troublesome because you can go from the feeling of elation, when that current of appreciation is really surging through you, to despair, when you've all but stopped the flow of appreciation entirely. That's how you can be riding high one moment, then someone tells you something you don't want to hear, and you feel that sucker-punch in your stomach. This is the power of your focus. You're focused on one idea in one moment and then a very different idea in another moment, and the feeling is the feedback about which ideas you believe to be true at that particular juncture in time. The feedback is the feeling. It tells you the quality of the idea you're holding. It tells you what type of fuel you're using to run that engine that propels your car.

Fear based ideas feel like crap. Trust based ideas feel like stability and optimism. Trust based ideas are like premium fuel. The engine purrs, and your car runs like a dream. Appreciation, or love, is a trust based idea. It embodies a confidence that the nature of reality is good. In scientific terms, if you could measure it, the flow rate of the electrical current of that idea is at full capacity. That flow rate is what we call "feeling good." That's all a feeling is. It's an electrical current springing through your body. When the current is powerful and unencumbered, we know this as feeling free and unstoppable. When the flow rate is at a trickle, we know this as a feeling of depression. When we block a powerful current, we know this as a feeling of rage. The feelings are dependent on your focus. You are, at all times, focusing on ideas. What you think about matters. Big time.

Because the mythology surrounding the idea of love has so much energy invested in it, it's a good idea to make sure you're crystal clear about how you define it, and how you use it. Love is appreciation. The more powerful approach is to offer that appreciation without expectations of any kind whether it be to a person or a situation. If you remove love from conditions, if you allow it to be something that you express apart from the behavior of other people, you won't be likely to damn up the flow and find yourself in pain. This way, you're in control of that current. And then you'll never again fall for the illusion that love can hurt. You'll know with absolute certainty that love never hurts. You'll be living the reality that love feels fantastic. So, let it flow, let it flow, let it flow.

You're reading by Samantha Standish. If you want to learn more about what happened in my out-of-body experience, my book, "Equal," is available for a nominal amount at,

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