Assessments & Conclusions

Other people can't make you inappropriate. We think they can, and so much of the activity of this world isn't so much to do anything, but to avoid being labeled inappropriate by others.

There's a big difference between wanting to express something and expressing something in order to avoid being labeled a bad person. One expression is pristine and pure. The other expression is convoluted and distorted. It's amazing that this world functions at all because it's running on a lot of those distorted expressions. People have tremendous fear that the world will call them bad if they don't fall into line with the agenda of the day. Individuals will do just about anything, including lie, cheat, and steal, to avoid being viewed as sub-par. This running on fear, however, can be solved by ceasing to engage in the practice of labeling things right and wrong.

Labels of right and wrong are overlays. They function to increase the charge you give to an idea. However, they're unnecessary. They don't serve any central function. They don't help a person make better decisions, for example.

In illustration, say garbage collection comes on Friday. You normally set out the garbage cans on Thursday night. But, for some reason, you decide to do this on Monday morning, instead. Now, someone may take you to task for that and tell that this is the wrong thing to do. They may give you all kinds of valid reasons for why it's the wrong thing to do. But, in actuality, it's not wrong, and it's not right. It's just a choice. That choice will play out in a particular manner. You can learn from what happens, and then decide whether you want to repeat that choice the next week. It's very straight forward. Labeling that choice right or wrong adds nothing to the situation. Furthermore, the person doing the labeling is just trying to serve their own interests by attempting to persuade you to make choices that they prefer. But it's your choice to make, not theirs.

Individuals are taught to distrust their impulses and defer to other people. This is reinforced through institutional practices such as grading, measuring, and evaluating. Grading, measuring, and evaluating doesn't take into consideration individualized motivation and quality of experience. And yet individual interest and quality of life are the hallmarks of beingness. When your motivation leaves, or the quality of experience degenerates too far, you die.

Your desires and your feelings are fundamental and important aspects of being here. They deserve acknowledgement, cultivating, and respect. Society would have you ignore these things in order to function as a replaceable machine part. But, of course, you're not a replaceable machine part. You're a sovereign being.

These practices of measuring our experience by quantifiable, outside standards trains people into placing their attention on the outcome of their actions, instead of the experience of their actions. This mutes the experience itself because part of your attention is missing from the moment as you speculate about how things might "turn out." You have a part of your mind occupied, at all times, on the grade.

The grade is the way that you imagine someone will view what you're doing. It's the assessment, conclusion, judgement, or opinion of another person. We're taught that the goal of our activities is to receive a favorable assessment from someone else. We want others to validate our efforts by proclaiming those efforts sufficient. We want other people to tell us we've done the "right" thing. This is how we know we're appropriate and acceptable. Until we receive the feedback, however, we don't feel fully valid. Maybe we are, maybe we aren't. We don't really know.

All of this runs on the illusion of right and wrong. And it runs on the illusion that another person's opinion is the decider of right and wrong. But let's be clear. Another person's opinion does not make a choice right. A group of people holding an opinion does not make a choice right. Remember, right and wrong are simply extra energy that you add to an idea. They're not actual things in and of themselves. There is no right and wrong. There's kind and unkind. There's functional and non-functional. There's helpful and unhelpful. But there's no right and wrong.

If someone perpetrates some sort of violence against another person, for example, it's not right, and it's not wrong. It may be cruel. It may be unforgiving. It may be pointless. But the act itself is not right or wrong. The act doesn't have any characteristic as such. It's a choice. In that sense, it's neutral. How you define that act determines your experience of it. This is where right and wrong come in.

When you label a violent choice wrong, for example, you're attaching energy to that idea. You're giving it a particular signature through your definition. The wrong label means that you'll experience that idea that you've labeled wrong in a more exaggerated manner. If you say violence is really, really wrong, then that's an even more powerful charge, and every time you view some sort of violence, you're going to feel that idea in an overwhelming, unbearable manner.

The label does nothing to the act itself. It doesn't help you understand why the person made the violent choice. It doesn't tell you how to help the victim. It doesn't help you find solutions to violence in general. It doesn't help you create more loving and safe environments for people. It doesn't do anything except activate your feelings in a particular manner when you see violence. Your label determines your experience of the thing you've labeled. That's all.

This overlay of right and wrong clouds your personal evaluations of events by adding a distracting and unnecessary element to events. You're meant to have primary experiences, and then make choices based on the feedback of that personal perspective. It's a perfect system. The labeling of right and wrong mucks up the system.

If you take away the labeling of right and wrong, you take away the need to look to other people's opinions about the appropriateness and inappropriateness of your behavior and choices. You can figure it out on your own whether a choice worked for you or not. You don't need another person's pronouncement on the subject. Then you start to streamline your decision-making so that it reflects your natural interests.

What I'm speaking to here is developing the ability to drop the consideration of other people's opinions entirely, to stop looking for approval from others, to no longer care about other people's standards, rules, and regulations. I'm talking about developing trust in yourself.

Right now, we prove to others that they're important to us by caring about their opinions. But this screws things up because life is a priority based matrix. You're meant to be the priority in your life. In each moment, you can only have you or another person as the priority. You can't have both. If you make yourself the priority, and the other person makes themselves the priority, you have a perfect system. Things work.

If either of you places the other one in the superior position, there are problems. Individuality is designed to organize around the individual placing their natural inclinations first. That's why it's called individuality. It's not called deferentiality. Equality demands that the individual acknowledge their desires by giving those desires priority. We're not talking rigidity here. We're simply talking about giving your desires importance.

The enjoyment of your being and your life is not frivolous. It's crucial. Other people will label your desires--the things that make you feel happy and alive--frivolous. They'll say these things are not important because the labelers don't have to live in your body. From their ivory tower perspective, it's easy for them to want you to serve the things that they want to see happen in the world. Yes, it's selfish on their part, but they have a right to take that perspective. And you have a right to ignore that perspective. In fact, it's your calling to ignore their perspective.

You can't ignore the perspectives of other people, however, if you're constantly referencing their opinions because you've labeled them an authority or a "special" person in your life. They have to become like everyone else. They have to take their natural place as secondary to the priority of your own heart.

The world is going to assess your choices and draw conclusions about you. It's going to label you right and wrong. It's going to define you as appropriate and inappropriate, belonging and not belonging. None of this matters if you see it for what it is--pointless chatter by people ignoring their own hearts. Those individuals who label the most, don't trust themselves. If you listen to them, then you'll learn to distrust yourself, too, and you'll defer to people who can't possibly know what's best for you.

Listen to your feelings. Note your interests. Acknowledge the things that make you smile. Dig and search and seek out the passion within you. Make yourself the priority, and you'll be an asset to this world simply through your contentment alone. You'll be one less person contributing to the agitation. To do this, you have to stop looking to how things will turn out. You have to stop looking to others to tell you that your choices are right.

You're already all right the way you are. Your life is yours to live any way you choose. Other people's assessments and conclusions about the choices you make is twaddle.

You're reading by Samantha Standish. If you want to learn more about what happened in my out-of-body experience, my book, "Equal," is available for a nominal amount at,

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